This phrase is one of the best personal reminders I use to avoid the mindset of finding excuses and more importantly ‘pretending to be busy’. I discovered this around 1 year ago and since then, I have never used the word ‘busy’. If you actually think about how many times you say ‘busy’ in a day, it may come across as a surprise to you. It’s just the go-to word. But I actually despise that word. I believe that it forces your mind to think in a very unhealthy and toxic way. Since I’ve avoided the phrase, I have found that I am not giving silly excuses to my friends or family for doing something and I have discarded the possibility of dodging events.
No silly excuses
When your friend or someone asks you for something, perhaps to go out and play football with them, you might really want to! But perhaps you have something that’s stopping you. What do we say? ‘I’m busy’. It’s an acceptable word to suggest that you’re doing something which is stopping you from playing football. Although, what you’re actually doing is dedicating time towards something else. Just be honest with them. I have found this to be a perfect way to build trust as well as be more conversational.
By using ‘I’m dedicating my time towards…’ as a replacement, you’re being open with them and therefore they wouldn’t infer it as a way for you to avoid them. So, trust is established. But, when you’re with friends I guess this isn’t a huge deal as the general atmosphere is friendly and relaxed. However, cultivating such clarity and trustworthiness as a practice would be tremendously useful in your professional career and even in your relationships. At least, that’s my belief.
The other asset from using the phrase is that it’s a great conversation builder! By saying what you’re working on, perhaps they may be able to chip in and help you out with it! You can never expect what they may deliver.
No dodging events
In the context above, using the phrase is a benefit also due to the fact that it doesn’t give you a valid reason to escape an event. By mentioning what it is that’s stopping you from the event, you can self-reflect and judge on whether it really is a blocker or not. In that aspect, it’s a great personal development technique.
You may think that there are certain scenarios where using the phrase isn’t appropriate. That would just be another way of finding excuses. I can guarantee that you’ll find that phrase suitable in any situation. Regardless of the circumstances just try to open up and be honest with yourself about the phrase. Even if you’re wasting time, you are actively choosing to do so which is why you can say to yourself ‘I am actively choosing to dedicate time towards procrastination.
Some additional thoughts
I did mention that it cultivates a toxic mindset. What do I mean by this? Well, by constantly using the word ‘busy’ to suggest that you’re working on something, you build up a sense of stress by adding the weight of the work to your mind. So, if you constantly pester your mind with the thought of busy-ness, it would be occupied with exactly that thought. You wouldn’t be able to concentrate on your work. Additionally, you get the feeling that you’re always working which is also not a healthy relationship with the body. Breaks are vital for a friendly connection with the body.
I find it fascinating how we’re great at giving excuses to escape many circumstances. But this only worsens the situation. I am particularly bad at this so you can count me in as a hypocrite. My morning routine has been ebb and flows in the recent past. I was actually just settling into it until my school started again and I have lost the routine. It’s unfortunate. I believe that to acquaint to the routine, you just have to force yourself through the resistance. If I can force myself out of bed and then to a workout and a bit of mediation for a mere 30 days, I think that I can create a steady path for myself. It’s that initial stage that carries tremendous importance.
Though, I’m learning from other people that the lockdown has provided both positive and negative results for them. Some people have detached from their habits whereas others have nurtured more habits. I fall in the second category. The lockdown has created an excellent opportunity for me to work on my improvements and I must say that I’ve made major progress. Here gratitude is a useful technique to stack on the positive mind-set but a balanced amount only. Too much gratitude is pointless.
Anyway, as I was saying, I am finding excuses these days to escape routines. I am creating that toxic mind-set that I’m busy and I cannot do it (which is a lie only to comfort myself). Pondering on that, I guess there are a few things I could do to motivate myself out of these excuses. And the phrase links in with this. I need to remind myself that I’m actively choosing to go on my phone and procrastinate rather than work on my body and mind. This sense of perspective leaves me fragmented and troubled too! It helps me rejuvenate myself to work on my improvements. Hence, the phrase is yet another useful cue for personal development.
What else could I do?
Linking in with the idea of friction which I’ve written about here, I could add friction from me excusing myself. So in my morning routine example, I could simply create a lot of friction for me to grab my phone and reduce friction for me to workout. Hiding the phone or burying it away into the deepest, darkest location possible would surely help. And with the workout, I could just place my workout clothes right next to my bed as a reminder to get straight into it.
Anyway, that’s my current stance on this topic. Let’s see how this develops.
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